Bustin’ out!

so I am still in the hospital in Iowa city right now as I write this blog, however I could be going home tomorrow.  I am both excited yet terrified at the same time.  I am excited to be able to see people I care about everyday, but what sucks is I have started caring about some of the people here so much and I am going to miss them.  There are so many people here that are just so awesome!!  🙂 I had a goal to beat my uncle to my moms house lol, he will be back on July 2nd.  Looks like I might get there… 

I am terrified to go home because there is no panic button there, and nurses to run in during the night when the alarms go off if I stop breathing.  Here if my heart rate gets to a certain point an alarm and red lights start flaahing and people run in and fix the problem.  Being alone at home with the dog a cute as heck black lab but what is he gonna do besides piss himself and leave a mess for me to clean up??!!!  I wasn’t so scared till this sleep study guy basically told me that even if I lay a certain way in bed that I will have a stroke and die in my sleep.  Which is a contridiction to what everyone else has said which is that I am doing so well.  of course he also said if you lose more than 2 lbs a week there is possibly something wrong. and everyone else says its because I am working so hard.  I am working my tail off!! Everyday I push harder and farther!  there are days where everything hurts but I push through it and keep on moving!  There is so much life to live and i wanna live it! 

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Miracles

There are so many things in life that people take for granted, and do not realize what a miracle they have been given.  A tree every year all by itself losing its leaves, and growing them back again.  A cat having kittens and instinctively knowing what to do, they don’t read all these books that we have, they just know.  The sun pearing out from behind those dark clouds to give you warmth on a day when you feel so cold. 

The rain falling when the ground has been dry for so long, that people are afraid of fires starting.  The phone ringing with the person you miss the most on the other end, saying I will be there in five minutes.  Feeling love in the most unusual and dreadful times in your life. 

Living for years, when your doctor told you that you wouldn’t make it 6 months.  These miracles happen everyday, but most of us are too busy to notice.  Having a child is by far the biggest miracle god can give anyone.  To watch as it grows inside you, is just miraculous.  To see them after their birth and how they know the voices of the people around them on that very first day, then to watch as they grow into these tiny little humans and each so unique, growing into their own person.  Looking so different from what you thought they would look like.  Everyone kind of guesses when the baby is born who it looks like, and as the child grows you see the characteristics become their very own.  Sometimes its as if they want to prove everyone and everything wrong becoming something so different than what people first thought.  Sometimes becoming the most amazing people anyone can ever meet, and others becoming the people that others are afraid of. 

It is just amazing what love can do.  Love can change that person that everyone is afraid of into a person that everyone admires, and a gentle being.

 

Ordinary Miracle By Sarah McLachlan

It’s not that unusual
When everything is beautiful.
It’s just another ordinary miracle today.

The sky knows when its time to snow,
Don’t need to teach a seed to grow.
It’s just another ordinary miracle today.

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday;
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own.

Isn’t it remarkable?
Like every time a rain drop falls,
It’s just another ordinary miracle today.

Birds in winter have their fling
But always make it home by spring.
It’s just another ordinary miracle today.

When you wake up everyday
Please don’t throw your dreams away;
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we’re all a part
Of the ordinary miracle.
Ordinary miracle

Do you want to see a miracle?
ohh ohh ohh, ohhh ohh ohh…

It seems so exceptional
That things just work out after all.
It’s just another ordinary miracle today.

Sun comes up and shines so bright
And disappears again at night.
It’s just another ordinary miracle today.
ohh ohh ohh, ohh ohhh ohh…
It’s just another ordinary miracle today.

Fall

The seasons are changing, leaves are falling from the trees and turning beautiful vibrant colors.  Instead of rolling the windows down in your tank top and shorts the windows are going up with a sweat shirt and jeans.  The windshield is covered in the mornings cool dew.  This morning a fog surrounds us as we leave to do our daily running, we must be more cautious and drive slower. 

This season is wonderful, if you pay attention, you can see all the animals scampering trying to find all their things for winter.  You can see deer in the fields carelessly eating anything they can find.  Their once young baby from the spring is nearly old enough to strike out on its own.  What were once tiny kittens that could fit in the palm of your hand are now half grown and nearly as big as their mother.  The great circle of life keeps going as the old woman takes her last breath, the new baby is born.  The earth is planning for its rest over the winter so it can wake up this spring and be healthy and more fresh than we have ever remembered it.