Inside Look of New Beginnings

hello from the other side. Life changed so fast. so unexpectedly. I would have never guessed life would be the way it is now. it’s been crazy and I’ll hold on to the good memories I had; with the people who left, entered, and stayed. I can’t wish that it never happened because it has changed my life so much. if i hadn’t made so many drastic changes, I most likely wouldn’t be here.
since the last time I wrote anything here I graduated from college and I’m now a media influencer. i got divorced, i honestly never thought the person i once craved and couldn’t wait to see, smell, and touch would become a demon I’d have to overcome. even hearing his name sometimes makes it feel like those wounds will never heal. it took a very long time (&a nurse as stubborn as i am) for me to have any kind of emotion towards a human. I now have someone who I am very fond of. I also have a small group of amazing friends.
ive moved several times since the last time I wrote. Athena our cat had several kittens. one of them was Hiss, who was the mother of the cats we have now. we had to raise them, because shortly after having them Hiss was hit by a car. Athena has since passed away. She was very sick, i remember her last day with us she made sure she snuggled every single person.
In the past year or so we’ve taken in my mom’s dog sadie, she’s a rottweiler. as well as my uncle dans dog tink, an obnoxious chihuahua.

pretty sure she was sent to earth by satan himself.
My health has been a roller coaster but for a few years it was mostly down. a series of doctors who didn’t listen and didn’t care. after being in the hospital for low iron i was set up with home health care nurses. These people helped turn my life around in so many ways.
I was told i had 2 months to live, and in that 2 months i got a new doctor who took a real look into my health and just made a few changes. i went to the hospital for a procedure that takes the excess fluid out of your abdomen. its painful and takes what seems like forever to gain full strength again, but i was just glad that i could move and talk without wanting to die. since then I have not been hospitalized or even gone to the ER. there were a few close calls, but my stubbornness and intuition of when things in my body weren’t right, awesome nurses, and great doctors that listen, we always figure something out.

I will be back with some knowledge or adventure. Ttfn. Ta ta for now!




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Bustin’ out!

so I am still in the hospital in Iowa city right now as I write this blog, however I could be going home tomorrow.  I am both excited yet terrified at the same time.  I am excited to be able to see people I care about everyday, but what sucks is I have started caring about some of the people here so much and I am going to miss them.  There are so many people here that are just so awesome!!  🙂 I had a goal to beat my uncle to my moms house lol, he will be back on July 2nd.  Looks like I might get there… 

I am terrified to go home because there is no panic button there, and nurses to run in during the night when the alarms go off if I stop breathing.  Here if my heart rate gets to a certain point an alarm and red lights start flaahing and people run in and fix the problem.  Being alone at home with the dog a cute as heck black lab but what is he gonna do besides piss himself and leave a mess for me to clean up??!!!  I wasn’t so scared till this sleep study guy basically told me that even if I lay a certain way in bed that I will have a stroke and die in my sleep.  Which is a contridiction to what everyone else has said which is that I am doing so well.  of course he also said if you lose more than 2 lbs a week there is possibly something wrong. and everyone else says its because I am working so hard.  I am working my tail off!! Everyday I push harder and farther!  there are days where everything hurts but I push through it and keep on moving!  There is so much life to live and i wanna live it! 


I took a test this morning it was actually kind of weird it tells you a lot about yourself.  It made me cry and cry and cry..  It is only 4 questions.   based on my choices of the first question pride is at the top then love, family, career, and money was last.  I described certain things and by descibing them it showed apparently how I feel about different things like I find my personality hairy lol..  my partners personality is cute. Which I do!  I find my enemies disgusting.  the part that made me cry was coming up with a different person for each color.  so I did.  My mom was first then my sister my grandma my other sister and I chose two people for the last one.  when it told what they meant I cried and cried and couldn’t stop!!