Am I here?

I just want to get my homework done but I simply can not think all I can do is cry right now.  All I wanted was a hug and can’t even get that.  I held back not telling someone something cuz something in my body told me that either the person was just saying shit cuz he wanted something or he just wanted to see what I would say I dont know.  I told people these things and they made me feel bad for thinking it.  Well I told him yes then he freakin starts in and is a total creep.  He said hes changed his mind.  Then said if he had been with one of my friends and said their name..  that he wouldnt have had so many problems.  He said that within our group of friends myself and the other persons boyfriend thing are the problem.  Atleast if him and my friend were together she would have wanted to be near him and would have done things with him.  Then I said something like im sorry not everything in my life is about my private areas.  Afterwhich he told me he wished he would have asked her out and not me and asked her the question then they would be happy.  Started telling me all the things they would do together.  Then he tried to tell me she had a problem with me anyway.  I tried asking her if there was and she says no but at the same time does not want me anywhere in the same area..  Its days like this when I am already hurting like hell and people are being asses that I wish I wouldnt have lived.  I hate that I keep promises.  I hate that I won’t just do it again.  How many promises did u break to me?  Does it really matter if I promised anyone?  Why?  They all leave anyway

sometimes I wonder if I am in some sort of cruel hell and I really did die…  that is why things repeat over and over that hurt so much. 

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~ by skeys1981 on June 7, 2008.

One Response to “Am I here?”

  1. sometimes I really wonder ……..am I in hell? and then i realise no, hell is still yet to come, but how can that be possible, cus im hurting so much inside is it possible to hurt more? .. chin up babes.. ur not the only one xx

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