Protection

Life can be so randomly strange.  One minute you are talking to someone all the time wanting to be around them every second of the day and they are your best friend.  One minute later they do something stupid and you hate their guts.  Then you look back a couple years later and start to miss the good times you had.  I was organizing pictures today remembering some really funny things some friends and I used to do just for the hell of it, and man I missed those times.  I remembered times when I used to be so much more trusting.  What really sucks is that when the stupid things happened and I lost trust in them it made me lose trust in everyone else too.  I used to want him near me and as close to me as possible.  Now I am scared to let him get too close.  I know I hurt his feelings when I push him away but I dont know how to change either.  I so badly wanted him to be close with me like that the other day but when he tried I completely freaked out.  I really hope he gives me another chance.  I love him more than anything and I know this is not his fault.   I often take things out on him that have nothing to do with him what so ever.  I am not sure why I do this but I think I am just trying to protect myself.   I would do anything for him.  Until tomorrow I am stuck with my pictures.

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~ by skeys1981 on May 28, 2008.

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